


Brad.exe has Crashed

by Kawaii_Kitty360



Series: Stargazing Universe [2]
Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Homosexuality, Inception - Freeform, Jessica is so confused, M/M, Rick isn't a bully, actually a lot of you asked for this, brad ships rick and morty and it's not okay, i hope this pleases you, lowkey gay themes, nobody asked for this, subconscious pining, this is some gay shit, this is uncomfortable for everybody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-08 16:51:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11650752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kawaii_Kitty360/pseuds/Kawaii_Kitty360
Summary: Set during 'Stargazing; Chapter 9', we find out what Rick did to help Morty with his bullying problem.





	Brad.exe has Crashed

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all ask, I provide.
> 
> So this is all over the place and I'm sorry but I'm really in love with the idea of Brad lowkey pining over Morty and just covering it up with Jessica (kinda in a 'if i can't have him nobody will') type thing.
> 
> Anyway, this is a lot and kind of gay and a little weird and I'm sorry.

"Morty, I'm not sadistic; I'm not going to abuse some kid."

And with that, Rick left his grandson's room, hand hesitating on the door's knob as he took a second to gather himself. The moment Morty told him what was happening, that some hot-shit jock was not only preventing him from getting it on with his crush, but was also beating him up for trying to be friendly, Rick got the idea, and while he wasn't quite fond of doing it, he felt he had to. Rick may be tough, and work Morty to near death while on adventures, but he cared for the little shit, and if anybody in Morty's life were going to abuse him, that person would be Rick and Rick alone. Walking as fast as he could without jogging down the hall and down the stairs, Rick grabbed the rail and swung himself around the corner, brow furrowed with steely determination as he yanked the garage door open and flung himself into his chair, spinning to face his computer's keyboard to begin his search. It would be effortless to slide in and out, get what he wanted and go before daybreak, but he didn't know exactly how he'd manage to go about it without Morty being there. After all, it would be very unlikely to find the kid in some bully's mindscape, and he doubted it would be as easy as Mr. Goldenfold, with Scary Terry helping them, but he was Rick Sanchez; a chameleon who adapted to new situations and surrounding with ease. This would be as easy, breezy, and beautiful as Covergirl.

 

* * *

 

"Oh, wonderful," Rick grumbled, looking around with a frown as he wormed his hand under his lab coat and teal sweater to scratch at his shoulder. "This kid doesn't dream in color. Bo-ring."

Not a lot of things particularly creeped Rick out, but this was definitely one of the things that did. Rick landed in- or what was probably supposed to be- the park near Morty's highschool, but instead of being a vibrant array of greens, everything was an ashen gray.

Well, everything except the grass beneath Rick's brown shoes (which made him aware that he was in color), and the brown picnic table, which had a stereotypical red-and-white checkered cloth over the wood with a woven basket and some food lying out, but neither of the two people sitting made a move to eat it. It was like a spotlight shone down on the duo with how bright they were in contrast to their surroundings, and the familiar piss-yellow shirt nearly blinded him with its enhanced brightness, only possible thanks to the lack of color around them. Time seemed frozen, and though Rick was extremely tempted to look around for a yellow geometric shape that was probably bouncing around in the sky, he didn't, and rather decided to approach the two at the table, albeit a bit hesitantly, hand twitching in anticipation to make a move for his laser gun in the event that their heads spun around and they were revealed to be some demonic hellcreatures.

Sadly, they didn't, and instead Rick approached the table easily, looking at them in confusion, waiting for either of them to move. The lemonade glasses sat untouched, the ice quietly clinking against the sides of the cups and accompanying cubes, and their sandwiches had no bites out of them, and Rick wasn't even sure if the two kids were breathing or not with how little they were moving, the only sign of life being the occasional slow blink and finger twitch. He even waved his hands in front of their faces to no avail, only greeted with dead stares and lizard-like blinks and eyes that didn't stray from the spot they were staring at.

"O...kay..." Rick mumbled, furrowing his brow as he stepped back a bit and looked around a little bit more. It seemed like there was nothing else to the landscape, but Rick wouldn't know until he tried, right? Right. So with a sigh, he dug up his past determination and set to find out if there was anything he could use to his advantage.

* * *

After who knows how long, Rick had circled back to the picnic table to find everything exactly the same, as expected. He had wandered around the entire town just to find nothing moving, everything that wasn't in direct contact with Rick the same dull gray as the park was, to the point where Rick tried to enter a building to see if he could find who was responsible for the teenager's dream to be this lame only to find none of the doors he tried able to open. He even tried to GTA-style a car only to find it, like the buildings, unable to open. Nothing Rick interacted with was able to open, which was only mildly annoying, but that made it harder to waste time, which was pretty good, because though time passed differently in dreams, he was still running out of time. Especially because he didn't know exactly what to do, and nothing aggravated him more than not knowing what to do.

With a huff, Rick flopped down on the bench beside Morty, taking a second to glance at him, and then at Brad, the gears in his brain slowly turning to try and come up with any sort of idea as to what the hell this dream meant.

"Oh, shit!" he suddenly barked, laughing out loud for a solid minute before smacking Morty on the back, making him lurch forward a bit and bring up his hands to brace himself on the table, face contorting into a shocked expression at the assault before pointing an accusing finger at Brad, drawing the other teen's attention to him now. At least that meant he could interact with the two of them. "Dude, I didn't know you were _gay_! Oh, this is golden; I can use this!" The only question was how.

Morty blinked at Rick for a second, then at Brad, the familiar snobby smile that he got when he knew somebody else was the victim of Rick's bullying growing slowly on his face, and he leaned a bit on the table, brows raised. "You're gay?" The tone was mischevious, a fire in his eyes as he tapped his fingers eagerly on the table, and Rick knew that Morty was thinking the same thing:  _I can use this._

Brad sputtered, forcing himself from the bench and stumbling back. "W-What? No! I like girls!"

"Uh-huh, sure." Rick and Morty both scoffed, crossing their arms in unison before pointing at him with the same hand. "You're just in denial; it's written all over your s-stupid face."

Though Rick still remained seated, Morty got up beside him, slowly, menacingly, and Brad took a step back, frowning, eyes shifting around the park as if looking for a way out.

"Is that why you bully him?" Rick guffed, leaning back and holding his hand to his forehead as he laughed, a force that he coughed out to make sure Brad _knew_ just how idiotic he was. "That's priceless."

"No, that's not--"

"I bet you just w-want to assert yourself, like an Alpha male," Morty hummed, voice silky as things seemed to click; Rick could tell things were going south by the way the park around them seemed to shudder around them.

"It makes sense, except you should know that Morty is no Omega. H-He's a fighter; his own version of a tough Alpha. A-And he can kick your ass, no problem."

On cue, Morty launched himself easily, effortlessly, at Brad, making him squirm and struggle to kick the Morty his subconscious conjured off his torso as Morty pulled his fist back, delivering a swift punch to the nose. The park gave another shiver around them, and Rick stood on the bench, cupping his hands around his mouth and yelling out: "Show him what you're made of, Morty!"

"I-I'm not your bitch, Brad! I'm nobody's bitch!"

"Yeah, except for your fucking grandpa's; bet you let him ream your ass every nigh--"

Rick let his arms drop with a grimace. That was an image that was going to be seared in the back of his mind for the rest of eternity, and apparently faux-Morty agreed because he let out a disgusted noise before smacking Brad across the face.

"K-Keep it up and _I'll_  be the one r-reaming _your_  ass every night, Brad, you fucking... b-bitch!"

That was the last thing Rick heard before he was forced from Brad's subconscious, barely even having enough time to roll under the teen's bed the moment he sputtered and woke up kicking, flailing as he sat up quickly, breathing heavy. There was a brief second where nothing happened before Brad let out a swear and swung himself out of bed, leaving his room, and giving Rick enough time to pull out his portal gun and portal right outside Morty's bedroom door, where he landed with a grunt on his chest. He took a second to gather himself before rolling over onto his back and chugging his flask, pausing to just lie in the middle of the hallway before sighing and rolling back on his shoulder-blades, hands planted behind his head before he pushed himself to his feet, lab coat flying out behind him dramatically, and he stumbled a bit, catching himself on the door as he swayed, letting the room stop spinning before he pushed Morty's door open and stumbled in, barely even registering the fact that Morty sat up a bit before he crushed his grandson under his weight. He felt him squirm for a second before falling limp, either dead or accepting the fact that his grandfather just passed out on his bed after being who-knows-where for a few hours, if the alarm clock blaring '12:03' had anything to say. He set his mental alarm, telling him to wake up in a few hours to try again after a brief recharge, and let himself doze off.

* * *

 

The school was where Brad's subconscious planted him next, quickly recognizing his location as the hallway where Morty's locker was, and he did a quick double-take before beginning down the hall in search for either of the two. After checking Morty's classes and not finding anybody, Rick made his way to the cafeteria, and then the gym, before giving up on the inside and making his way to the courtyard, where he heard people before he found them, walking out of the school to find a large circle of probably every kid in school, cheering and taunting. Somewhere in the mass of voices, he heard Jessica yelling something, which only confirmed Rick's suspicions, and he wormed his way through the crowd, catching sight of a yellow shirt before he even made it to the front, and once he did, he felt a laugh bubble in his chest.

Sitting in the middle of the circle was, as expected, Brad and Morty, with Morty sitting on Brad (again), his back facing Rick, but even the older man could see that his grandson had Brad's shirt collar bunched in one fist and the other pulled back, ready to punch, and as Rick went to pull out his flask to take a drink and yell at Morty to 'fuck his shit up', he felt a hand on his wrist, and he looked to meet Jessica's gaze, who was pointing at the two of them.

"What are they doing?!" she yelled at him, and Rick furrowed his brow, ready to quip some sarcastic remark when he heard a few more yells and looked back to see that Brad had flipped them over, which revealed that they were _not_  fighting; instead, finding that their lips were slotted together in an almost pornstar-esque makeout session.

"Oh, what the fuck; can you stop dreaming of shit like this? I'm trying to do something here." Rick groaned, pulling his eyes away from the two, tugging his hands free from Jessica, ignoring her as she trailed after him, probably just as confused and perturbed.

It wasn't like Rick had anything against this type of thing; being pansexual himself, he had no place to judge, but the thing that got him was that the person in the dream was his _grandson_ , and the person who was dreaming about it was his grandson's _bully_ ; so excuse him for being a little... weirded out about the current situation.

How was he supposed to find a way to make Morty assert himself if they were currently trying to fuck in the courtyard?

Rick circled back, nearly running straight into Jessica, swearing at her to 'watch out for fuck's sakes' and made his way back to the front of the circle, cupped his hands around his mouth, and began to chant: "Alpha male! Alpha male! Alpha male!", getting louder and louder until slowly the other people around him began to join in, chanting over and over "Alpha male! Alpha male! Alpha male!", watching how Brad and Morty looked around, a little confused, before his grandson looked back at his school bully--

And punched him square in the nose.

"Alpha!" the people screeched, cheering and pumping their fists, only growing wilder as Brad squirmed, trying once again to kick Morty off as he flipped Brad over and shoved his face into the concrete, pulling him into an uncomfortable version of downward facing dog, small hand keeping his face against the ground as he began to grind slightly against Brad's backside, earning a low groan that almost nobody could hear against the uproar.

"Y-You hear that?" Morty hollered, bringing his hand back and smacking Brad across the ass. "You're my bitch, Brad, and there's nothing you can do to fix that!"

"You want this to happen, Brad? Do you?!" Rick called, trying not to cringe as Brad pushed back a bit and shook his head against the ground; whether it was meant to be a 'yes' or 'no' really didn't matter to Rick, because his next statement worked either way: "Then stop being an asshole!"

Once he was sure the message drove home, Rick reached into his pocket and pulled out his laser gun, aiming, and taking the shot at Brad's head.

When Rick came to under the bed, he heard Brad cough a bit, and he knew the teen was awake, and once again Brad sat on the edge of his bed, taking in a few deep breaths.

"Fuck, okay..." he sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Stupid Morty and his dumbass, genius grandfather... Dammit." Rick tapped his fingers against the underside of Brad's bed, waiting for another second as Brad leaned over and grabbed the glass of water he'd prepared after the first time this happened, taking another couple of sips before tapping his fingernails against the half-empty glass. "Maybe if I'm..." Brad paused, taking another sip. "Fucking stupid. It was just a damn dream, but... dammit, whatever. Fine. Fine! I get what you want, old man, and if you'll stop _tormenting_  me, I'll... I'll be nicer to Morty. Deal?!"

Rick waited until Brad went to the bathroom, muttering about how stupid it was to talk to himself, to portal to the garage and pat himself on the back and try to drink the image of the two teenagers making out in the courtyard of the school out of his head while busying himself with his next invention. Needless to say, he wouldn't be stepping into the school for a _long_  time.

**Author's Note:**

> Lemme know what y'all think, and please tell me if you find any mistakes because there's probably a lot.


End file.
